AMerrick

The beginning of the rest of our lives.  November 2003

Its hard to believe, in just a few weeks we have been together for 6 wonderful years.  In those years, I/we have been through alot together.  We have went through, and over come things that most couples couldn’t even dream of.  You have watched me mature from a young adult to the beautiful woman I am today.  It is because of you, that I am here today.  Your love, has given me a new meaning of life.  You continuing support, guiding me, and helping me make the right choices in my life.  Even when I’ve chose to make some bad choices, you have been there for me, loving me and comforting me. 

Just 9 months ago, you took my hand in marriage, as you promised my daddy when he passed away.  You have been far more patient with me than I would ever be with myself.  I love you, for never giving up on me and always believing in me.  Right now, is when I need you believing in me more than ever.  I have struggled with my weight for years, as you know, although you love me the way that I am, I need this for my health and the sake of our future children.  I need your strength when I feel weak, and I need your guidance when I want to give up.  You have already reminded me not to give up or give in because it hurt, that only means its doing the job. 

Because of you, I am here today to fight for my life.  I am here today, to work hard on myself so that one day we can have a healthy family.  Because of you, I have a reason to fight for what I want.  Because of you, I will not give up. 

Today, I stepped on the scale and finally hit the 20 pounds lost.  After the last two weeks of struggling I am finally over that small hump I have been working so hard for.  This week, I am giving it my all, and nothing less.  Even if it takes his love to get me through it all.  I want him to be able to fit his arms completely around my waist like he originally was able to.  I’m sure, alot of you know what its like when you first start dating and don’t want to eat around one another for awhile.  Well he gave me no choice, it was either eat or he would make me eat.  I chose to eat, and now that I have done what I haven’t done with past boyfriends I have gained weight.  Most of it came when I hit rock bottom, but I am now trying to undo all of the harm that Ive done to myself.  I just need people to help me believe in me.  I need that boost once in a while, just to remind me that I am worth what I am working so hard for.  So that when I have those weak moments I can remember that this is something that my body needs excessively.  Its time to be strong, I can not break.