AMerrick

I’ve found the reasons within me to lose the weight I so despirately need to lose.  I am tired of being out of breath when I climb stairs, or chase after a child running away form me.  Its something I must do to take care of me.  The thought of me getting much bigger scares the shit out of me.  I see “bigger” women everyday, and I think go that I am not that person.  When in reality, if I don’t do what’s best for me, then I will end up like them. 

I look at myself everyday, and tell myself I can accept what I see, when I really can’t.  The reflection in the mirror isnt me at all.  The reflection is of a weak woman who’s trying to make their way though life.  I see the fat that hangs from my belly, and I feel ashamed.  How could I let myself go for so long.  I do good for a while and then I give in.  I can’t keep doing that.  If I do, I will never truely be healthy.  I want to beat the odds.  A majority of my family is obese, or has illnesses/diseases that I don’t want to have to face. 

I want to be a mom, but how can I subject my child to my lifestyle.  If I were to get pregnant right now, how healthy would my child be?  I have to do this so that I can love me.  I have to do this so that when I have kids I can play and run with them.  I have done the damage for too long.  Its time to actually stick with it.  I’m here for the long run, once and for all.

The next thing, is to get my husband to join this journey with me…..