AMerrick

Started this new day off right.  I woke up 7 hours after I went to sleep, I forcefully made myself get up, and I feel so much better.  I got around and drove to my moms house, where I spend a majority of my day.  I made my lunch for work as soon as I got here, that way I had no reason to not want to take my lunch.  Then I made me my breakfast, as I ate I sat here and worked on my food journal.  Something I had been neglecting for a while.  From now on, if I eat it, its getting written down.  So maybe I will be less tempted to eat those things that are bad for me. 

I really fell like I’m off to a good start.  I’m thinking about taking a walk around the block before I have to get around for work.  I have a little over 2 hours until I have to be to work.  I figure getting a walk in will help me with my exercise for the day, since I wont be making it to the gym tonight.  I work til 11 tonight, then I have to be back at work at 9 am, for a short shift.  Tomorrow, I plan on taking my workout clothes with me in the morning.  That way I can go straight to the gym after work. 

I have a problem with being hungry after I workout, so I bought me some slimfast high protein powder.  I am going to give that a try and see if it does the job for me.  I am hoping. I’ve started a new day, in which I am going to get back on track and stay away from pop first and foremost.  And I am going to try to stay away from my weaknesses.  Wish me luck.  

I’ve found the reasons within me to lose the weight I so despirately need to lose.  I am tired of being out of breath when I climb stairs, or chase after a child running away form me.  Its something I must do to take care of me.  The thought of me getting much bigger scares the shit out of me.  I see “bigger” women everyday, and I think go that I am not that person.  When in reality, if I don’t do what’s best for me, then I will end up like them. 

I look at myself everyday, and tell myself I can accept what I see, when I really can’t.  The reflection in the mirror isnt me at all.  The reflection is of a weak woman who’s trying to make their way though life.  I see the fat that hangs from my belly, and I feel ashamed.  How could I let myself go for so long.  I do good for a while and then I give in.  I can’t keep doing that.  If I do, I will never truely be healthy.  I want to beat the odds.  A majority of my family is obese, or has illnesses/diseases that I don’t want to have to face. 

I want to be a mom, but how can I subject my child to my lifestyle.  If I were to get pregnant right now, how healthy would my child be?  I have to do this so that I can love me.  I have to do this so that when I have kids I can play and run with them.  I have done the damage for too long.  Its time to actually stick with it.  I’m here for the long run, once and for all.

The next thing, is to get my husband to join this journey with me…..

Regretting the toxic food I have put into my body today.  Went to lunch with my sister and had fried fish and french fries.  Very bad choice.  My stomach feels like I ate a rock or something.  Not feeling so well.  I have been doing so good food wise over the past week.  I have managed to get back down to where I was before I started eating crazy again.  I bought healthy food for me for lunches for the next two weeks.  So I have no reason to go crazy on the junk that I don’t need.  I watched the biggest loser the other night, and it kind of opened my eyes up a little bit.  If I don’t do something, I will be like one of them. 

I’m hoping to get myself back onto a work out schedule.  I have been so crazy busy over the past month or so, that I really haven’t had much time.  Time to work on my physically.  Wish me luck.

A part of me wishes we could just move away from this forsaken town.  My relationship with my mom hasn’t been the greatest the last few weeks.  My husband and I were going to go out on the boat a couple weeks ago and told my brother ahead of time and caused a big fued and ever since then my mom hasn’t said too much to me.  I just feel like climbing into a hole and never coming out.  I haven’t spent much time at my moms since then, which is part of why I haven’t been on here much.  Its tearing me apart knowing the one parent I have left has been distant.  It was good solid week before she talked to me again and I did nothing wrong.  I just can’t wait until she gets rid of that damn boat so I don’t have to deal with it ever again.  The day it happened I told my husband why dont we just move away, and he said no because I would regret it in the long run.  Sometimes I think a little distance would do us some good, but he doesn’t think so.  Sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart and I can’t seem to do anything about it.  I’m hoping things get better soon.  The stress of it all isn’t helping me very well.  Its left me with stomach problems over the past few weeks.  And I know Im not pregnant, lol took a test already.  So Im guessing its from all of the stress caused by the feuding the past few weeks.  I just wish everyone could just get along again like we used to.  It makes me sad seeing how badly weve fallen apart.

Lately, I haven’t had much time to do much of anything.  Between work, and getting my life in order I just havent’ had time.  That includes going to the gym.  My plan is to get back into the groove this week, or so I hope.  Although I have been away from the gym, I have been active, been doing some really deep cleaning at home.  Sweating my freaken ass of thats for sure.  I have missed talking to everyone.  i havent been online much at all, over the past couple weeks.  I log on the check messages and then I log off.  Todays the first time Ive logged onto buddy slim in about a week.  Ive fallen off of the bandwagon pretty bad.  I haven’t had time so Ive just grab whatevers available to me.  Which probably hasn’t been good.  I haven checked the scale lately.  I could be surprised either way.  But Im hoping to get things worked out so that I can juggle life alot better than I do.  It would be alot easier if we could get a house, we need one really bad.  We live at my inlaws although its nice, we need something of our own.  Im hoping for something to come along in the spring of the year.  Although I havn’t had time to workout my body is changing.  I think Im finally getting my monthly period back, like thats something to be happy about.  But I am, because its hard to try to get pregnant one Im ready, if I dont get my period.  My body has been so messed up for so long.  But its getting better.  Although I haven’t been working out I am still getting compliments.  Enough of this blabbing.  Hope you all are doing better than I am.  Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

Any suggestions out there on how to fight the food I shouldnt be eating?  I am losing weight although Im not eating the greatest.  I need to start eating better.  I dont feel too bad, most the time but still. 

 Any suggestions on how to fight the hunger after working out?  I have that issue too!

My funny for the day. ;)  I looked down and noticed my belly is no longer bigger than my boobs.  that is a strong indicator that what I am doing is working.  Which makes me extremely happy.  :)  Go ahead and laugh all you want, I know I did! 

 Oh and BTW, I am the happiest and healthiest I have been in a VERY long time.  I just thought you might want to know that!

At the beginning of my weight working out, and eating/drinking better I was struggling just to latch my bra on the very last latch.  I wasn’t about the go out and by one of those extentions, that would make me feel fatter than I already felt.  I am pleased to say, Saturday I latched my bra and now I can latch it on the first latch, and its lose.  So that must mean Im losing in my bust area, which I most definately can afford to lose.  I am happy and excited t osee these results.  I didn’t think i would notice too much at this moment in time.  I have noticed my neck is alot thinner, which it makes me feel really good.

Hoping to see a difference in my legs and abdomen in the near future.  When I do, I am sure I will write about it. 

Anyone else out there see an improvement in themselves that they would like to share?

I woke up today, knowing it was a fresh start for the things I have failed over the past week or so.  Although, I didn’t make it to the gym last night, I did play golds gym cardio workout on my wii last night.  I got really nice and intense workout.  It was worth the half hour that I worked out doing it.  I have been doing alot better on what i eat.  I started my day off today with some eggs, for the protein, and toast.  I am sure I will get a subway sandwich on flat bread today. mmm good!  Although, I won’t make it to the gym, or workout tonight since I have to work early in the morning but I am going to keep busy at work. 

I am finally feeling better after the sun poisoning and the problem I was having with my finger, its getting better.  I am finally feeling back up to par.  Tomorrow, after work, I will be working out because I need to and i want to.  Its going to be the most intense workout that Ive had in a long time.  My body needs it & wants it.

Today, I recieved a nasty email from the girl I have been trying to break ties from.  She accused me of things I didn’t do, and flew off the deepend because I didn’t support her through something she did that I didn’t approve of.  I kindly wrote her back telling her that I am done with her, and that I don’t need her daily drama.  Its not worth all of the hassle she puts me through.  I told her the next time she doesn’t have anyone to turn to, not to turn to me.  Because I am done with her.  I feel better and it feels like a brand new day!  :)  I can honestly say, I am having the best summer I have had in a VERY long time.  Its because I have started working on myself, and because I have removed myself from the people who drag me in the dirt.  I love my life and Im not going back to where I was.  I am the strongest I have been in a very long time.  I am living for me and my husband, and nobody else! 

Its a new day, and its getting better all the time.  Losing the weight and resisting things is getting better, as well as making myself workout it getting easier.  I am only looking forward from this day on.  Seeing the woman I can and will be once I hit my peek, I just can’t wait and see what I do turn into..

I decided, that I needed to get serious about taking care of me, and turning my life around; both physically and mentally.  I often say I am going to do it, but at times I just give up.  Its time that I get serious about all of it, so I took some time this morning and did a little bit of research, and I thought I would share some of it with you guys.  

Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy. Body mass index (BMI), which compares weight and height, is used to define a person as overweight (pre-obese) when their BMI is between 25 kg/m² and 30 kg/m² and obese when it is greater than 30 kg/m². Obesity is associated with many diseases, particularly heart disease, type 2 diabetes, breathing difficulties during sleep, certain types of cancer, and osteoarthritis. Obesity is most commonly caused by a combination of excessive dietary calories, lack of physical activity, and genetic susceptibility, though a limited number of cases are due solely to genetics, medical reasons or psychiatric illness.

The primary treatment for obesity is dieting and physical exercise. If this fails, anti-obesity drugs may be taken to reduce appetite or inhibit fat absorption. In severe cases, surgery is performed or an intragastric balloon is placed to reduce stomach volume and or bowel length, leading to earlier satiation and reduced ability to absorb nutrients from food.

Obesity, is something, alot of us suffer from.  Some of us are having the hardest time getting out of that obese catergory.  Instead of sitting her dwelling on it, I am finally taking actions for all of the weight, I have put on over the past years.  I have always been big, as a child I always had a bell on me but nothing serious.  I know, that if I try my hardest I can get out of this catergory.  I have to or it will be the death of me one day.  I want to be able to run, and play with my kids when I do happen to have them.  I want to live past the age of 50, which if I follow my dad’s side of the family I will die somewhere in my 50’s.  I have so much to live for and I don’t want this to be the death of me.  I can’t let this horrible disease kill me.  I am too young to be so “ill”.

I must start watching what I am eating, I must start working out harder and more intensively.  I am hoping if I workout hard enough the skin will shrink so I wont look so bad.  But I am not sure it will even help me with the excessive skin.  I am only hoping.  I can and will do better.

Beating Obesity..

Firstly stop consuming food that is high in fats such as burgers, fries or cakes. Before you go about implementing an obesity cure, you need to admit that you have a problem. When you have the urge to eat, take fruits or pre-cut vegetables instead. They not only help combat weight loss but keep the body healthy as well.

Get the doctor’s advice before you begin losing weight especially if you are in excess of 50 pounds overweight. They will be able to give you the appropriate tips on the right diet and program for you.

Other obesity cures include surgery or having your own personal trainer. Besides all the methods, you must look deep within and see whether subconsciously you have a problem as well such as an eating disorder or maybe a fear of losing weight successfully? When this is done properly, you will be better equipped to face the challenges of losing weight. Remember that losing weight does not happen overnight. Have an obesity chart which include family and friends. This way you will keep your progress in check and they can help support you when it gets tough.

In the end it is just a matter of how badly you want to beat obesity. Once you form very strong habits, you will never look back.

I am finally ready to change myself, for myself and my future.  I don’t want to be one of the numbers when they look back at the Whitakers and say that I followed the footsteps when I am trying despirately not to be.  I want to keep away from all of the health problems that come with being a Whitaker.  i love and value myself too much.  I think, after doing this research, I will do better.   I can, and will change my life.  Its time to get serious about watching my intake of Calories, Carbs, Fats, ect.  What I need to do, is figure out how many of what I actually need in order to function along with my workout schedule. 

Looking forward to seeing what I can be in the future!  This is either going to be the life or death of me, and I am choosing for it to be the life of me.  I am living my life for me & my husband.  I can’t give up, just because something doesn’t work.  

Hope my findings help some of you out, as they are helping me.